Wednesday, August 19, 2009

COCAINE AND CANCER MEDS


Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Current mood: sick






Her strung out mannerisms
Animated scratching
Shifting eyes with no control
Endless chatter of goals and ideas
My mind in observation mode?
I've encountered another test subject
My endless study of the minds dark sides
The sides we don't understand
The sides we don't want to understand
How far will I take this?
Like a cat observing a wounded butterfly
I will carry my prey to death
Or grow tired
Gracefully walking away for my slumber
Never seeing my curious treat again

I'm fascinated
I'm intrigued
Receiving information that displays
Intelligence and insanity
Which one is it?
Or is it both?
Strung out hair - with life withdrawn
Abused black veins
Lifeless murky rivers cascading down the arms
Happy to meet my mysterious voice
Mysterious kindness
Confidence
Like many wounded
I follow
Watching her flutter her broken wings
Flying without perfection
Stumbling with no direction
With her trust given
I take her in my mouth
Careful not to wound her more with my sharp teeth
I carry her to her secret space
Cautious and unaware of competitors
I enter the small world of impending death and coverage
I may be a stalking cat or curiosity
But I'm here to play
Not to prey

Countertops covered with bottled problem solvers
Not for healing her wounds
But for increased tolerance
Postponing of death
Her space littered with tools of distraction
Art
Music
Technology
A 14-year-old mind
A 45-year-old frame
An intruding trespasser building its home around her neurotransmitters
A starving trespasser eating her alive
Dependent on each other
They will die together
Like a life-long couple unable to survive without the other
They're used to each other
But, one loves the other more

Coming down from my catnip high
I must retire
I creep away to find my dreamscape
Her life vacuum inhales dust white as snow
My ear twists to hear the last words
I need to take my cancer meds.

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