Sunday, August 30, 2009

I THOUGHT ABOUT YOU TODAY


I thought about you today

Soft
Smooth
Curving through the arteries of my mind
Golden
Draping over
Exploring
My definitions
Inhaling your loving scent
Your natural signature
Meant for my senses
Missing
Our ocular connections
From days past
Craving
Your loving stare
Your undeniable smirk
Smooth love
Powerful
Pulling
Tugging
Twisting
Setting
My heart blazing
Images of you
Running
Through my belly
Scattering flocks of butterflies

I thought of you today

Saturday, August 29, 2009

FINDING YOURSELF



Finding yourself
The hardest challenge of my life
Stomach twisting
Aching thoughts
Fighting the tears during the day
Releasing at night
Analyzing myself
Pursuing a strategy
A war plan to conquer my dreams
At the same time trying to let go
Leaving it in the hands of faith
Emotionally pulled 
Left and right
Exploring the depths of self
A single stray thought can throw me off
Ignoring assumptions
Fears
Insecurities
Letting go of the past
But still secretly a slave to it
Telling myself the world is different now
I do deserve this
I’m a good person
I have value
But can’t be sold
Priceless
I can have what I want
It’s not necessary to feel guilty or embarrassed
Who and what I am is what was meant to be
My impatients eats me alive
But it also defines my love
The magnetic pull
Our hearts
My need for you
Follows my need for art and beauty
Expression
Realization
Communication
Separating and becoming
Individualized 
To become a foreigner to the world
But not to myself 
Nothing more emotional than finding love
Finding yourself

IN MY CAVE


In my cave

I face the northwest direction
Ben Affleck on the tube
Sugar cookie 
Marinating in a digestive beer batter

I’ve been doing a good job
Hunting
Surviving

Thinking about you
I’m asking why
Why 
Why 
Why

In my cave

Monday, August 24, 2009

THE ASPEN GROVE


The Aspen Grove

I challenged myself today
Pushed through the weight
Against my body's will
Led by a fresh mountain scent
Reminding me of early years

Pushing along the trail
Pushing through loneliness
My body reminds me of bad habits past
Wanting to turn back
Wanting to continue
Passing through pine
Low lying shrub
My senses relax
Absorbing the beauty

Bees
Birds
Flowers
Spiders
Going about
Time alone
Time to think
So happy I'm out

Over the hump
Round the bend
Beads of sweat
Cooled by traveling wind

Sun peeks
Looking up
I think of you
Realizing
I'm not alone
You are always with me
Touching my heart
Supporting
Encouraging
Loving 
Caring
Giving me medicine

Ascending the path
My path
I find the historical sanctuary
A lustful love story 
From times past
Crude
But romantic
Reminding me of myself in a way
A lonely sheep herder
Roaming the land
Missing his love
His lover

After pushing and pushing
Keys and water bottles shifting
Interrupting 
Natures
Nature
I decide to sit
To stop
To listen

Overwhelming silence
I close my eyes
Take a breath
Take a break
Everything is ok
Gonna be ok

I make our mark
Making history
Dreaming
The future
The meaning
Proud

I hear sounds
Like a far off waterfall
The wind
Flying through tree tops
It grabs my body
Wanting it to carry me away
To you
I'm consumed
Thoughts of a perfect kiss
A perfect life
Like a fresh breeze
You and me
Our love
Blowing through my mind
Dance for me
Forever in

The Aspen Grove

Friday, August 21, 2009

JUST FOR YOU


Just for you
Never evoked before
An emotional fluid
Swelling from my eyes
Dripping when my heart flies

It’s different this time
Not from pain
Sadness
Or trauma

Your beauty
Your heart
A work of art
With just a thought
I lose control

Every tear
A reflection of you
Liquid love
Crawling across my skin

Missing definition
The science of love
I am surprised 
Amazed
Overwhelmed
A spiritual reaction
One of a kind
A gift from you

From the depths of my body
The ultimate connection
The future of us

Forever for you
Forever for me
These tears are true
Just for you

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

COCAINE AND CANCER MEDS


Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Current mood: sick






Her strung out mannerisms
Animated scratching
Shifting eyes with no control
Endless chatter of goals and ideas
My mind in observation mode?
I've encountered another test subject
My endless study of the minds dark sides
The sides we don't understand
The sides we don't want to understand
How far will I take this?
Like a cat observing a wounded butterfly
I will carry my prey to death
Or grow tired
Gracefully walking away for my slumber
Never seeing my curious treat again

I'm fascinated
I'm intrigued
Receiving information that displays
Intelligence and insanity
Which one is it?
Or is it both?
Strung out hair - with life withdrawn
Abused black veins
Lifeless murky rivers cascading down the arms
Happy to meet my mysterious voice
Mysterious kindness
Confidence
Like many wounded
I follow
Watching her flutter her broken wings
Flying without perfection
Stumbling with no direction
With her trust given
I take her in my mouth
Careful not to wound her more with my sharp teeth
I carry her to her secret space
Cautious and unaware of competitors
I enter the small world of impending death and coverage
I may be a stalking cat or curiosity
But I'm here to play
Not to prey

Countertops covered with bottled problem solvers
Not for healing her wounds
But for increased tolerance
Postponing of death
Her space littered with tools of distraction
Art
Music
Technology
A 14-year-old mind
A 45-year-old frame
An intruding trespasser building its home around her neurotransmitters
A starving trespasser eating her alive
Dependent on each other
They will die together
Like a life-long couple unable to survive without the other
They're used to each other
But, one loves the other more

Coming down from my catnip high
I must retire
I creep away to find my dreamscape
Her life vacuum inhales dust white as snow
My ear twists to hear the last words
I need to take my cancer meds.

THE CORPORATE DINNER PARTY


Wednesday, August 30th, 2006
Current mood: Contemplative

Khaki pants
Polo shirts
Receding hairlines
Lights reflect from shiny baldness
Business casual
A hundred vocal projections
Blending
Creating a jumbled mess of sound wave
Small talking for promotion
Small talking about
Who fucked who?
Who got wasted at the last?
I hear the one guy who has worked his ass off
But has been screwed for years
He bellows out a garble

To me
They look like they would not be good friends
Un-trustworthy
Lack of regard for anything outside their world
Except for donations
For tax purposes
These are the people that destroyed the Native American
These are the people (mindless) that will cause our world to fall
Like the Egyptian
Roman
Greek
Mayan Empires
Greed
Money
A blind vision of success
Blind

Side glances at a hot server's ass
Dreaming of a satisfying sex they don't have to pay for
The loser in High School
Buying his self worth
Buying popularity
Buying attention
A secret grudge
Never justified or satisfied
Are you really happy?
Would you be happy in the middle or lower?
Don't think too much about the reality around you
It will all be forgotten with one swing of a golf club

Here come your Caesar salads
Are you gazing past your croutons?
Pondering
The starving
The Middle East
The Pedophile in accounting that is molesting your child?
Can you see it?
You may not want to
You may not have to
But look
You can cause change
No wait...
Your purpose is to send us back to our caves
We will invent controlled fire again
We will be what was intended
We will be happy

I would like to thank your tie
A symbol
Of the people that will take me back to nature
I'm an animal
Not a Machine